This 9-Simple Step Checklist is the beginning of your self-exploration journey. It’s designed to help you determine what inner work needs to be done, allowing for more joy & meaning in your life!
Boy did I have it wrong!
The wedding, the white gown and the wonderful life that would follow were my little girl dreams come true. Which naturally meant that the proverbial white picket fence with Family-Carpool-Entertaining-Career-Volunteering-Travel-Socializing would be my happily-ever-after, right? Of course! So I cast all my time management and organizational skills into this dream come true along with all my heart and soul. And, being the determined and dedicated person that I am I knew that I would ace this whole SUPERMOM just like all my friends were doing.
But wait. I wasn’t feeling SUPER-anything. I was secretly exhausted, worried, overwhelmed and sure that I was not good enough. Why was I so unhappy even though I had everything I always wanted? Where was the “me” amidst all the household, homework and hurrying around, I wondered… because instead of being SUPERMOM I felt like the walking dead.
I can’t be the only one. Why is no one talking about this?
“It’s time for us SUPERMOMS to start talking about the real cost to having it all.” ~ Rebecca
“Rebecca,” my girlfriend once asked, “what do you dream about?”
The question was crushing. Dream? Who has time for that and if I did, do I even have a dream? After what seemed like hours but was only about 15 seconds, I finally squeaked out “I don’t have one.”And with that, she gave me a sly smile and urged me to let my mind wander, “Everyone has something they dream of doing,” to which I excitedly offered, “Well, yes, my dream was to have kids and I LOVE BEING A MOM!”
She pressed on, “OK then. What are some of the things you love the most about it?” “Oh,” I chuckled, “I love being a full-time hockey mom.” We cracked up because there was a lot of truth in it but she knew that if I was unhappy at the core that meant I was still searching. Lucky for me, this meant I had other dreams to fulfill because my spirit was crying out for more. So, what was it that I didn’t own up to? What was I holding back? Was I denying myself a crucial something that would make me feel alive inside again?
I spent a few days digging and in my search I unearthed a long ago buried dream. I called my girlfriend with childlike excitement, and yelled, “Here it is but you can’t laugh. I always wanted to go to PARIS for pleasure! but I never went because it was never the right time and then I got married and forgot about it. ”
Her reaction was immediate! “Go for it!” Get yourself on a plane and go!”
Whoa! There is no other mom in my world who would ever have said that to me!
I came up with every reason not to go; all the obligations, feeling of selfishness, guilt, fear and the silliest reason of all, “what will people think ?” but a month later I boarded flight 4125 to the city of AMOUR, Paris, France. I went to Paris to continue my quest that began at home with a little doubting, a lot of questions and an internal conversation.
What I did for myself in Paris was to start my own personal Eat-Pray-Love experience. I began to rediscover the art of dreaming, re-imagining my Self and finding joy in life again and this is something I continue to work on in my daily life.
Added bonus: my adventure turned out to be a treasured life lesson for my children as well.
“Dreams fulfilled are lives well lived.” ~ Rebecca
PARIS, A PERSONAL JOURNEY
Well, now that this dream came alive again what could I do but heed the call of my soul. Off to Paris I went casting aside all my excuses why NOT to go.
In Paris, I was able to clear my mind from the expectations and obligations from home. Being alone with myself far from home helped me learn how to just relax and just be. My mind got quiet I got clear. When my soul got still, I got closer to myself. When my journal pages were filled I understood so much about the sinkhole I was drowning in. In Paris I re-learned how to honour myself, believe in myself, to trust myself. I learned to let go of fear, be true to myself and to stop the comparisons and the status quo games.
Paris was the portal to the continuous self-discovery work I regularly do to keep creating and holding onto joyful abundance. I work with coaches and experts and a mentor and it is my usual practice to continue learning.
Like so many of us wives and SUPERMOMS, when I got married I gave up bits and pieces of myself. And when I became a mom I lost even more of myself. Bit by bit it chipped away at my essence until there was little left inside. But no one would know. I put up the “right” image so everything looked picture perfect. This classic behavior, you know… just keep busy, keep saying yes to everyone, just keep piling it on, stay distracted from yourself and go to bed exhausted and repeat daily was killing my spirit.
My solo trip to Paris was to change all that. I found the most precious of all loves: The Love of Self!
“Spend some time alone with yourself to find the abundance within.” ~ Rebecca
SHIFTING INTO ABUNDANCE
I returned home from Paris planning to salvage my marriage but chose to honour my soul instead! It was abundantly clear to me what I needed to do. I had to reclaim my joie de vivre! What I learned about myself in Paris awakened a burning desire for more; more learning, more love, more depth, more joy, more friendship, more peace, more happiness!
So there I was shifting into an abundance mentality while my marriage was ending. You can imagine the mixed emotions and thoughts that were running through me. There were roars of pain, guilt and fear and uncertainty coupled with simultaneous whispers of trust, anticipation and courage. I didn’t know how I would get through each day but I did. One day at a time, with decided effort, months of pain morphed into ABUNDANCE Within!
Here’s the thing: When you make a conscious decision to work on something in yourself the Universe shows up with other opportunities. Everything starts to shift. You learn how to “turn off” the low vibrating chatter and other distractions and when you do, pathways are cleared to bring meaning & joy into your life! Even as SUPERMOM!
“You are already magnificent, you just forgot!” ~ Rebecca
If you feel ready to take full responsibility of your life then it’s your turn to turn up your WHY, AKA LIFE PURPOSE… the fire that ignites you to do what you love to do.
Wishing you an Abundance Within!
PS – Click here to go to my ABOUT page & learn more about moi & my Coaching practice!