I lost a job I loved, my marriage dissolved, my daughter's illness and the route I choose.

“Above all, be the heroine of your life, not the victim” - N Ephron

This morning as I was journaling, I began to reflect on some of the curve balls life has thrown at me - it took me back to a few dark places…

The loss of a job I loved, the ending of my marriage that I worked hard to keep, the sickness of my daughter - the biggest knocked down of my life which has a happy ending, the breakdown of my car, the rude lady that started yelling at me in Costco, being penalized for forgetting to pay a bill on time, and the list goes on…and on… and on.

What I now realize was back in those ‘unconscious thinking days’, aka, living on autopilot, not knowing I had a choice on how I wanted to think and see life, I’d blame everyone and everything for these hard knockdowns.

But in time, what I have come to learn and understand is when we blame/project onto others we are ultimately stepping into a victim mentality.

And yes, when we are in this place, it might feel good at the time, but truly there is no joy, growth, ease or flow in victim mentality - we’re usually met with resistance, anger, judgment, insecurity, rage, overwhelm, pessimism… and the list goes on.

And so when we start to live a life of consciousness, being intentionally aware, we can slowly start to shift from BEING the victim to BEING the Heroine in our life!

You know the person who takes full responsibility for oneself, who owns their space, decisions and desires, and sees vulnerability as a strength! Who takes courageous steps even when uncertain, who is integral to their word… who lives by their core values…who is surrounded by like minded, open, connected people.

Exactly where I now hang out, well 99.5% of the time

I now know if I start to slip into the victim role, it’s where I go into isolation, I check out, it’s where I withdraw, and shut down….

And that’s when I have the internal dialogue to remind myself, that this life is 100% my responsibility, not Francois, not the Doctor, not my ex-husband, not my friends, not my family…. NO ONE, but mine and in that moment, I get to choose if I want to be a victim or the heroine.

99% I choose the heroine! The other 5% I allow myself to be the victim for as long as I feel I need to b/c ultimately it’s my choice.

Start to pay attention to your thoughts, your internal and external dialogues - tune inward as you get off autopilot thinking, and start to notice where you hang out, a victim or a heroine?

Today might just be a good day to press reset.

xo